October 29 letter

Well, my family is having a stressful day.

My sister who is 20 is getting married in about a month, so I thought I’d tell you the system. I think it was arranged, since the man lives in another city. We actually met at the capitol when we went in for Independence Day. They had a date and dressed up nice, walked around the city, etc. together!

So tomorrow is the bride-price meeting where his family comes over for food and talk. From what I understand, they discuss the arrangements for the wedding and for life afterward. Who will book the restaurant, what her responsibilities in the home will be . . .

The wedding should be in about a month. The bride has an elaborate getup including a big blanket over her head and shoulders, and a handkerchief is always to be held over her mouth. She doesn’t speak during the ceremony at all. The wedding has dancing and eating and presents.

After the wedding the woman moves to the man’s house and becomes the “new bride”. She wears scarves over her hair and face, and when the man’s parents are present she covers her mouth with the corner of the scarf and doesn’t talk. (For months and months.)

Directly after the wedding she goes on a “40 day tour” where she guests at all the houses she knows every night and watches everyone talk and eat (as she cannot partake).

It sounds like a gender equality horror story, but in reality it’s more like any other culture’s rite of passage. They are excited to get out of their house, and everyone loves the tradition. Anyway, I thought I’d describe that since tomorrow is the big bartering day! It’s hard to just describe everything so I have to pick something!

I have been visiting friends and experiencing more freedom since I have learned to travel on my own, which is nice. It was getting stifling being stuck here all day every day. The country is really nice when I’m not being dragged along somewhere. I saw a beautiful sunrise against the mountains this morning and can’t imagine what it will be like to be without that.

My family is great, too. So I’m definitely on an upswing. I assume the readjustment to Balkanabat will be another challenge, but I’m happy here so far. I’m optimistic. I think that if I have nothing waiting in the states (a specific university, time or job), I have nothing really pulling me away and that’s a nice feeling.