Well, my family is having a stressful day.
My sister who is 20 is getting married in about a month, so I thought I’d tell you the system. I think it was arranged, since the man lives in another city. We actually met at the capitol when we went in for Independence Day. They had a date and dressed up nice, walked around the city, etc. together!
So tomorrow is the bride-price meeting where his family comes over for food and talk. From what I understand, they discuss the arrangements for the wedding and for life afterward. Who will book the restaurant, what her responsibilities in the home will be . . .
The wedding should be in about a month. The bride has an elaborate getup including a big blanket over her head and shoulders, and a handkerchief is always to be held over her mouth. She doesn’t speak during the ceremony at all. The wedding has dancing and eating and presents.
After the wedding the woman moves to the man’s house and becomes the “new bride”. She wears scarves over her hair and face, and when the man’s parents are present she covers her mouth with the corner of the scarf and doesn’t talk. (For months and months.)
Directly after the wedding she goes on a “40 day tour” where she guests at all the houses she knows every night and watches everyone talk and eat (as she cannot partake).
It sounds like a gender equality horror story, but in reality it’s more like any other culture’s rite of passage. They are excited to get out of their house, and everyone loves the tradition. Anyway, I thought I’d describe that since tomorrow is the big bartering day! It’s hard to just describe everything so I have to pick something!
I have been visiting friends and experiencing more freedom since I have learned to travel on my own, which is nice. It was getting stifling being stuck here all day every day. The country is really nice when I’m not being dragged along somewhere. I saw a beautiful sunrise against the mountains this morning and can’t imagine what it will be like to be without that.
My family is great, too. So I’m definitely on an upswing. I assume the readjustment to Balkanabat will be another challenge, but I’m happy here so far. I’m optimistic. I think that if I have nothing waiting in the states (a specific university, time or job), I have nothing really pulling me away and that’s a nice feeling.
Oct 29, 2004
Oct 28, 2004
Essay #3 (My Day)
Ashlee and I speak hurried, giggly English to each other as we break frequently to yell "Hello" to frighteningly persistant children dressed in suits and matching school-dresses. Girls wear long blue or green dresses with white aprons, and boys wear black dress pants and black ties. We get to school and find our language group in the bookless library where G___'s smiling face struggles to teach us Turkmen language for 3.5 hours every morning.
Our minds are on lunch at 11:00, and we finally migrate to Scott's family's house at 12:30 where a spread is ready for us. I chat with non-trilingual G___ in Russian, and we gossip in English about the latest PCV news. After eating, we lie against pillows and wallow in the most American surroundings we've got (each other).
Three of the five of us head back to school for technical training which usually involves observing classes taught by English teachers here. After class we trudge home in the hottest sun we could imagine. It never ever rains during the dry season, and I once saw a cloud. As Ashlee and I head to the main road, we hear footsteps approaching behind us. One set turns into 3, 4, 5 sets. Suddenly the first "Hello!" is shouted followed by a "How are you?", two "What is your name?" and even a few "My name is." We're beginning to get used to being followed. The shouting doesn't lessen the longer we're here. We keep going after a polite "Hello." At least they aren't throwing rocks and insults today.
I come home today to find my eldest sister visiting. I greet her and sit for chai as we all watch the video of her toi (wedding). The tape is worn from use, and my family seems to have it memorized. I sit and listen for a while, but soon walk to my room where 8 neighborhood girls could sense my intention and wait to look through my pictures of America and listen to my ipod. As conversation is slim, I often tell them which one smells the worst and how my intestines are working today. If I smile, they smile. They count the lines on my paper and play hand slapping games until finally I announce in Turkmen my intent to sleep. I fall asleep to muffled T.V. and dream of comfort and quiet. Thus ends another day.
Our minds are on lunch at 11:00, and we finally migrate to Scott's family's house at 12:30 where a spread is ready for us. I chat with non-trilingual G___ in Russian, and we gossip in English about the latest PCV news. After eating, we lie against pillows and wallow in the most American surroundings we've got (each other).
Three of the five of us head back to school for technical training which usually involves observing classes taught by English teachers here. After class we trudge home in the hottest sun we could imagine. It never ever rains during the dry season, and I once saw a cloud. As Ashlee and I head to the main road, we hear footsteps approaching behind us. One set turns into 3, 4, 5 sets. Suddenly the first "Hello!" is shouted followed by a "How are you?", two "What is your name?" and even a few "My name is." We're beginning to get used to being followed. The shouting doesn't lessen the longer we're here. We keep going after a polite "Hello." At least they aren't throwing rocks and insults today.
I come home today to find my eldest sister visiting. I greet her and sit for chai as we all watch the video of her toi (wedding). The tape is worn from use, and my family seems to have it memorized. I sit and listen for a while, but soon walk to my room where 8 neighborhood girls could sense my intention and wait to look through my pictures of America and listen to my ipod. As conversation is slim, I often tell them which one smells the worst and how my intestines are working today. If I smile, they smile. They count the lines on my paper and play hand slapping games until finally I announce in Turkmen my intent to sleep. I fall asleep to muffled T.V. and dream of comfort and quiet. Thus ends another day.
Oct 25, 2004
October 25 letter
Well this week is mostly vacation, so I have a lot of time to try out new Turkmen hobbies. I’m feeling really good about everything here this week. I spent a day with my best PC friend, and it felt like a real day off. It’s hard to explain, but it was a day without feeling trapped.
We took a trial run language test last week, and I scored exactly what we should score at the end of this month! So first, the PC “no speaking Russian” rule (which I had to break from day one) was stupid. Second, I feel good about language-learning in general. It’s nice to feel that I didn’t waste 4 years at something I’m not good at.
I made myself a dress today which turned out a bit funny in the sleeves. Sleeves are really hard. I’ll try repairing it tomorrow. The rest of it is quite nice.
I feel like I’m finally getting settled here in my neighborhood, and now I have to leave. And beyond that, I have to move to a neighborhood of richer people in the city. Yuck! I loved the visit to the city, but I’m going to miss this village life. It’s hard to get used to people and then up and leave.
I changed money over today to buy material, etc. But I’m buying some X-mas presents hopefully to send home, so it wasn’t like I can’t live on my salary. Hopefully I can use the mail to send things home.
The training is getting more specific and, therefore, more helpful as we go along. It’s so nice to be getting to know the T-12s through their presentations. People to ask advice of are valuable here.
Aside from about the worst gas you could imagine, I’m feeling pretty healthy. The lack of vegetables doesn’t phase me anymore, but I know I’ll have gourmet food in Balkanabat, so I’m not too worried.
My sister is getting married in about 2 months, which I’m really excited about. She has to dress in this ridiculous outfit that makes her look like a hunchback and hold a cloth over her mouth (and not talk, of course) for the wedding and the first 40 days after. She parades from house to house guesting in her gown, without talking or eating. Lovely customs!
We took a trial run language test last week, and I scored exactly what we should score at the end of this month! So first, the PC “no speaking Russian” rule (which I had to break from day one) was stupid. Second, I feel good about language-learning in general. It’s nice to feel that I didn’t waste 4 years at something I’m not good at.
I made myself a dress today which turned out a bit funny in the sleeves. Sleeves are really hard. I’ll try repairing it tomorrow. The rest of it is quite nice.
I feel like I’m finally getting settled here in my neighborhood, and now I have to leave. And beyond that, I have to move to a neighborhood of richer people in the city. Yuck! I loved the visit to the city, but I’m going to miss this village life. It’s hard to get used to people and then up and leave.
I changed money over today to buy material, etc. But I’m buying some X-mas presents hopefully to send home, so it wasn’t like I can’t live on my salary. Hopefully I can use the mail to send things home.
The training is getting more specific and, therefore, more helpful as we go along. It’s so nice to be getting to know the T-12s through their presentations. People to ask advice of are valuable here.
Aside from about the worst gas you could imagine, I’m feeling pretty healthy. The lack of vegetables doesn’t phase me anymore, but I know I’ll have gourmet food in Balkanabat, so I’m not too worried.
My sister is getting married in about 2 months, which I’m really excited about. She has to dress in this ridiculous outfit that makes her look like a hunchback and hold a cloth over her mouth (and not talk, of course) for the wedding and the first 40 days after. She parades from house to house guesting in her gown, without talking or eating. Lovely customs!
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