Well, enough has happened concerning the music school that I’d rather write the whole thing out. So this all began with a friend I met named Natasha who plays the piano. She is very cosmopolitan looking and has been excellent company. She’s 25 and teaches piano full-time at the music school. Upon meeting, we decided to play together and work up some music for a recital. She’s hampered by the teachers in T-stan and the necessity for her to accompany children all day, so she’s at the level of accompanying things like “Roumanian Folk Dances”, etc. We became good friends and I met her sister who worked as--guess what--the violin teacher at our school.
Turns out this sister is 18 years old, possibly not at all ready professionally to teach and perform and she knows it. Well, she took off back to Ashgabat saying she was young and didn’t want to start working yet. So here I am, the only violinist they know, willing to teach for free. Hmm.
Natasha pushed for me--surprisingly enough I have all the qualifications they need: a higher education degree from a University of Music. I met the director and he asked me, “Can you play?” and then, “Do you play from notes?”. So I passed that interview with flying colors.
I was given my own classroom without heat, but with a piano (go figure!). #23. I have a schedule now that has 4 students who were the only ones with real instruments. I taught my first lesson today with a student from school #15, and I couldn’t say much, but we got through it. The mom was there, probably to check my ability, but which I molded into getting instructions from me on how to practice at home with the girl. She seemed very attentive and has good potential. They just don’t have anywhere warm to play, and they’re probably distracted just like Americans. Anyway, the lesson part should be okay once I memorize some key phrases.
So today after my lesson the Director calls me into his office, and I assume it is for me to play for him (he’s been wanting to check my ability), but he had a strange grin on his face. I crossed my fingers, hoping he intended for me to retain all my clothing, but the conversation turns to his daughter. Turns out he wants to take advantage of my English for his own kid. !!!! But I act excited and say that of course his daughter can come and visit me and chat in my office any time I’m there! Hopefully she’ll become less interested as time passes.
On to another matter, he says, and wants to know if I have--then some word I don’t know. Well, I said, I don’t know what a ___ is, but I probably have it. Turns out it’s a work registration of some type that I need to work in the region. I have to have something in order to work here, but I don’t know what it is. So I figure, here it comes: I knew there’d be a problem with permission somehow. I’m the perfect candidate, trying to do work to which I wasn’t assigned! I called Peace Corps to find out, and they referred me to the Oldono (or education department) in Balkanabat, which is a scary lady who puts the smack down. I hope the whole thing doesn’t fall through. I want to think that this problem wouldn’t occur in the U.S., but I know it would be worse. I’d never be allowed to just up and work somewhere in the U.S. without my SS card, etc. So the saga begins, but I already began teaching, so I guess that’s half the battle.
I’ve been slacking at school a bit because I have so much to do now, but I just need a solid plan. I put sign-up sheets for 3 clubs of sorts and they were attacked by ravenous student-dogs and their pens. So I’ll probably have to weed out students with interviews. One kid signed up for my music school who takes German, not English. Well, he’s out. [Kari’s students have to be in the English program.] At least I know there’s interest. For the talent show I realize I’ll have to put every act together one by one and get each student to be in act on a one to one basis. I had thought they would have an idea of what to do. I do have a great English speaker who wants to be a “helper”, and I may find material and have her get the kids who can perform together and rehearse. At any rate, that’s on its way.
I’ve having less contact with the girl in my city who was the volunteer I most talked to and the only one who’s house I’ve been to. It’s hard to realize that although we randomly ended up together as the only 5 Americans in the city, we may not get along. I came here in part to relax myself and get used to being flexible and adaptable. There are 2 people who will never be flexible or relaxed, and it’s just as well that I stay away. Well, for now I have enough friends among the locals to turn to.
I still work half days, but I find myself overtired and swamped with un-deadlined work (i.e. practice, learn languages, create clubs). My hair is falling out, too. I feel downtrodden a lot. I may be sleeping too much recently, but I’ve also had a bad cold. (Who hasn’t here? Colds spread like you wouldn’t believe. It’s incredible.)
I find myself overly emotional, too, which is annoying. If I read a “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, I’d be crippled for hours. I feel like crying a lot, but mostly I just wax and wane on liking things here very quickly. Like in a matter of hours. I’ll have a great morning, but something at lunch will make me hate everyone and everything. I’d like to be at the point where I realize that everyone’s frustrated sometimes with or without reason. My emotions are reacting to--something--here. Maybe unfamiliarity or maybe high expectations of me from everyone. Some want me to tutor, start clubs, learn 2 languages, teach, and also do their own work for them. Then I have my own expectations of myself: being successful at everything everyone else wants. It seems like I shouldn’t feel pressure since I’m here as a volunteer, but no one’s expectations are related to how much I’m (not) being paid. They still want my best effort. I’ll have to learn either to say "no" or to accept myself even at an extremely un-perfect work level.
Anyway, I’ll find a way to describe my emotions better when I can figure them out. :)
Love,
Kari
