Jul 12, 2005

Act II and analysis

Men: Yeah, after six beers all we need are girls.
Six? I drank more like 10! Do I get two girls for that? (laughter.)

Sasha: Yup, it's about 3. If we're going to get to Natasha's by 4 we should go now.
Me: Ok, remember we have to pick up pictures for her at the kodak.
S: Yeah, we have time. Can I run and find the waitress, pay, and I'll be back in a minute. Is that ok?
Me: Of course, you know you don't have to ask permission. You can even go to the bathroom if you want. (smiles)
The three men get up from their table, see me alone, and stop in their tracks.
Men: Good evening young girl. What are you doing sitting here alone?
Me: (mean glare, no answer)
Men: You shouldn't have to sit there all alone. . .
My friend returns. The men walk off.
I walked out a bit angry--I'm so often thought of as a prostute. How am I not used to it yet? What can I even complain about? They didn't say "how much" like the last time I walked out of a restaurant alone to meet a friend outside. Maybe it was the time of day or the amount of time I was alone. I can't even be alone at 3 pm in a public building for one short minute without being bothered! We walked out and I proceeded to break down crying in a park across the street. Of course Sasha thought it was his fault for leaving me alone. Which almost makes me feel worse. I'm not even responsible for myself. As a youn woman I have so little power over what happens to me. Natasha can't even move TO her husband (seems moral and safe to me). I can't even be left alone for one minute. We are both children. Natasha by law must be living with either her own or her husbands parents. I too can't be trusted alone. And when do we become adults? Childbirth. After having a child we are suddenly allowed to be left home to cook, take care, aron, clean, push our way through the bazar. Children make us whole.

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